Life is nothing but CROSSROADS!

Life is nothing but Crossroads. Every step one takes will definitely changes one's life. I'm currently in a position where I have to decide on which step to take. Dance is all it matters to me. I do honestly want to make it as my career. But I still have my Makeup Course to complete. It was last two weeks since I've returned from Bangkok. Being there for those 5 days had really given me a whole lot to think about my dance career. Honestly, how many years more can I dance and compete anymore. Im like 18 this year. Well the longest I suppose is by the age of 30, I should retire. After speaking to my coach I had give it much thought. I really do want to take it to the next level. I do not want to just keeping competing in small national championships. I really want to be a world class competitor. I really wanna move to bangkok to train under a coach there but Im like currently stuck between completing my course which is 2 years (Makeup course which is 2 yearrs!!!). Wad should I do...!!!???? I dont have much time no more!!!

Im in love with this photo...

Cuz its me!

My first time indulging myself in Modelling...

LOL! I cant believe i actualli modelled for the photoshoot... Well i think I did a pretty decent job.

Im realli in love witht he fashion industry where there are no bounds at all. Recently Ive been wondering why do most people in Malaysia tend to think that modelling is pageantry. Im sick and tired of hearing omg that model is so gud. But when I open up the photos, it was like (You call that good). Honestly why cant they think something more out of the box. Seriously why is there no High Fashion in Malaysia. Why is everyone drifting towards the comercial market. Well let's keep finger crossed to see wad happens in the near future.

Birthday....! Photography session...

Well my birthday as always is juz a normal day. Nothing much. Thanks to everyone who wished me. Yesterday was a blast... Had a photoshoot with Sharon.. Great model... The makeup was phenomenal on her. The smokey eyes juz transforemed her into a diff person... WOW! Pics will be up soon on my makeup blog...

The first group practice after a long long time

Yesterday was the first night I attended a group practice for competitors in my dance studio after a long long time. Finally I'm back out there competing again. It has almost been half a year since I last competed. I can' wait till 2 weeks later when Im gonna board the plane to Bangkok. Oh Yea Baby! But too bad It wasnt my best performance yesterday night. I was pretty much completely worn out. I did not had my meals the whole entire day yesterday, breakfast, lunch! But everything seems to be good at the end of it. Later on after dat, I drove myself home. Wow! First time driving home alone in the middle of the night. I was pretty much freaked out the entire time since I had a car accident a few days ago.

Nothing much

Well today's just like any normal day. But the problem is, I didn't practice dis whole entire week. I have a feeling dat we're gonna get screwed by my coach pretty soon dis weekend. Oh God. I desperately need to work on my stamina, energy and my legs. They're like, WEAK!!!! And I do mean it. Every Thursday is the same outcome. The whole entire Multi Purpose Hall is completely used up. Well next week better reschedule ourselves. Now I'm gonna juz brush my teeth and have a goodnight's sleep cause I really have to get up early and ride a train home.

Up's And Down's

Well, life seems to always appear to be up and down like a roller coaster ride. Not knowing what will happen next. Well today obviously is a down one. Not knowing why, I don't seem to have any mood to dance or do anything. Dance practice seemed to be pretty social. O My God! Dis definitely must not happen in the long run. Competition's next month in Bangkok. Definitely have to pull myself together... Time to wake up Nick!!! No more lazing around!!! Time is definitely running out.

Anyways, I tried to push myself to dance my best but I think it didn't went well. Definitely have to work extra hard tomorrow. NO MORE SLACKING!!!

Well dinner was kinda simple tonight. I don't feel like eating anything. Don't have the mood to eat. But no matter what, I still have to eat something so I ate a coselaw at 'One Station' and also somesort of Ice Blended Beverage. I'm still here, typing away on this blog. I think I'm kinda obsessed with blogging lately, Well maybe this is the only way to actually express my feelings.

For now I'm gonna go home, take a bubble bath and clean myself up thoroughly cause I definitely stink right now and head to bed. Well who knows maybe tomorrow's gonna be a good day!!!!

*The Simple Life is not a simple life.
[Mason Cooley (b. 1927), U.S. aphorist. City Aphorisms, Third Selection, New York (1986).]

You Haven't Seen The Last Of Me

The song by Cher (You Havent Seen The Last Of Me) is an amazing song. Filled wit emotions and the meaning of this song is juz so meaningful. I could feel the pain and the distress she was handling with. Two thumbs up for this song!

Feeling broken

Barely holding on

But there's just something so strong

Somewhere inside me

And I am down but I'll get up again

Don't count me out just yet

I've been brought down to my knees

And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking

But I can take it

I'll be back

Back on my feet

This is far from over

You haven't seen the last of me

You haven't seen the last of me

They can say that

I won't stay around

But I'm gonna stand my ground

You're not gonna stop me

You don't know me

You don't know who I am

Don't count me out so fast

I've been brought down to my knees

And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking

But I can take it

I'll be back

Back on my feet

This is far from over

You haven't seen the last of me

There will be no fade out

This is not the end

I'm down now

But i'll be standing tall again

Times are hard but

I was built tough

I'm gonna show you all what I'm made of

I've been brought down to my knees

And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking

But I can take it

I'll be back

Back on my feet

This is far from over

I am far from over

You haven't seen the last of me

No no

I'm not going nowhere

I'm staying right here

Oh no

You won't see me begging

I'm not taking my bow

Can't stop me

It's not the end

You haven't seen the last of me

Oh no

You haven't seen the last of me

You haven't seen the last of me

Lonely Do I Feel

Another passing month has just flew by. I'm feeling quite lonely lately and abit emotional recently. Why must it be me? Why must I feel this way. I feel tremendously in pain and I feel dat I should just open up my wings and fly free from hiding my true self. I really do need people to understand my feelings at times. Im really tired of hiding who I am. People do not quite seem to understand other's feelings. I feel so lonely at times thinking when will I be able to find the other perfect half of mine. Or is it such dat i will never be able to find myself someone special. I juz feel tired hiding all the time and faking it all.!!! Urgh!!! Boy!!! This do sound emoish!!! But for now Im juz gonna stff myself with a bunch of SILLY LOVE SONGS!!!

I AM BEAUTIFUL,

NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY,

CUZ WORDS CAN'T BRING ME DOWN,

I AM BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY SINGLE WAY,

NO WORDS CANT BRING ME DOWN,

Single on Valentines day

People have always heard me say... "oh it's allright... who actually cares about having a relationship... I especially am, do not care less about having a relationship.. it's like wasting my time"

I try to hide dat i like being single and dat i am strong... But I dunno wahy im tired of masking myself... The stronger i am, the weaker i feel... I feel so lonely at times and how i wish dat there was someone to lean on... to share my affections, thoughts, and feelings with... But i don't think dat it would ever happen...

Valentines around the corner, or TOMORROW actually...

I think it's gonna be another single valentines day for me agin.

Im gonna juz watch videos and romance movies... i cry my ass off.. haha

A change of Environment.

Just arrived in Kuala Lumpur the City dat neva Sleeps yesterday night at bout 10pm. But too bad I need to sleep. Came here dis week to practice practice practice. Im currently here now in UCSI's library. Better stay to myself cuz im actually an illegal immigrant around here. LOLZ! Hope dis is a different change of environment for me. Im kinda enjoying dis University. Looking at a wide variety of ppl strolling in and out from campus. I gotta say dat this ccampus is HUGE! It'll take bout two days for me to actualli finish adventuring this whole campus. It's obviously weird. Im here in this campus but im not actually taking any courses. Instead im here in the library enjoying myself spending my time FBing. It's pretty big in the library itself... 3 floors man.

Grandpa R.I.P

Death is just the beginning. Grandpa please do rest in peace. We will love you although you may no longer be with us anymore. Although we may shed tears, but we know dat death is the stage where everyone needs to go through. May god and his heavenly angels guide you towards a world where there is no pain and happiness. You have served well in this lifetime bringing everyone single one of us up taching us right from wrong. We WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. Life will no longer be the same for all of us without you being around but we will continue living strong.


Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

Happy New Year

A new year has come,
And changes will be done,
From now on it will be present,
Yesterday was all just a dream,
A dream which I will remember for life,
Oh Faithful Friends,
I will remember you for life,
The things we all experienced together,
From dis day on it everything will be a dream
A dream which i will remember for life

May dis 2011 bring about all the happiness to all my friends...

My first Driving Lesson!

Phew I gotta admit dat driving isn't as easy as it seems. I kinda got a headache learning it today.


It all started dis morning at 7 till 4 just now... Im completely exhaused!!! I should have slept early yesterday night! Had a terible talk dis morning with one of the lamest losers from the driving institution and i almost died!! it's pure boredom! He's talking crap and his malay accent realli kills!

Driving was really hard
Stepping and releasing the clutch was hard and my engine died like more than 10 times!!! I still don't get how to swirl the wheel and the brakes and stuff!!! It's confusing!!!!

it's so hard to say goodbye! (Day 3)

It's really hard to say goodbye. Today's the last day to stay in KL!!! Woke up early in the morning and had a swim... Did a few laps and i actually kinda notice dat swimming really tones the body... After finishing swimming, I went back into the house and waited for Lun Lun & Ming Ming. Those two cuties finally arrived and all of us went to the pool again. Lun Lun was actually kinda funny when I puilled him into the pool without him noticing. Finally it was time to say goodbye. I actually kind of teared up and missed Ming. He was so cute and sweet. 'Gor Gor pls come visit us again" said ming... Aww!!! And he's just freaking 4.

Next we went to sungai wang plaza and strolled the entire shopping lot and went to JOGOYA for lunch. Gotta admit dat dat japanese buffet restaurant is crazy!!!! It's humongous!!! You can literary find any sort of japanese cuisine you want and the best of it all was Haagen DAZ!!!!!!!!!!! PHEWEE!!! I was bloated by the time I finished my food...


Next we went back to Metrohjaya once again and walked for a little while more before we left and got caught in a traffic jam for like 2 hours....

Day 2 in KL

• Woke up at 7am and was super desperate to have a swim in the pool
  
• Swam for like half an hour when the pool cleaner came up and asked everyone to leave the pool so that he could chlorinate the pool.


• Went back into home and was being stuffed with alot of food. OMGOSH!


• The two brothers (lun & ming) dropped in.


• Began fooling with them again.


• Surprisingly both of them were pretty closed to me.


• Had a good laugh at Lun's mischievious behaviour. He tried to runaway from his grandparents so dat he could sneak out with us to One UTAMA Shopping mall.


• Went to ONE UTAMA and was fascinated by all the designer products.


• Saw a vintage coat from TOP MAN which I totally love but was shocked by the shocking price of it... Phew!!! But you know good quality products always are expensive


• CAme back to House at about 5pm and went for a 2nd time swim in the pool.


• Went for dinner next and came back!

THESE ARE SOME OF THE PHOTOS DAT I WANNA SHOW EVERYONE HOW CUTE THESE TWO BROTHERS ACTUALLY ARE!!!!!!!!!!

.

Finally A Holiday!!!!!!!!!!

Waaaddup peeps... Im now In the City dat never sleeps in Malaysia!!! Woohooo!! Kuala Lumpur. Well let's just say, I actually just arrived at My relative's house in Damansara Heights at 10 something. I even got to meet my cousins Wei Lun (The active and playful one) and his little brother ming (wad a cutie)... The eldest wasn't here today as he is in Penang. These two kids are such cuties.. I actually enjoyed fooling around with them. Well they are actually just a bunch of kids. Aged 5 and 8... LOLZ!!! But they are adorable... I just can't resist them. Well maybe tomorrow's gonna be a more exciting day... Im so gonna dip myself in the pool!!!!!!!! WOOHOOO!!!!

A New Chapter Of Life!

School has ended.... No more next summer or fall... I'm gonna miss all u guys... Nasyim, jasy, shelumiel,kamil, ben, syahira,deeana... I sppose everyone...Im really gonna miss all u guys. All the laughter,sad moments, fun times especially all the singing and dancing together. It may be the last time we guys are gonna see one another but i sppose we'll meet up one fine day talking about our lives.

Dear Nasyim,

Pls dun be so sad over love. I'll believe one day you'll find someone who loves you dearly. I sppose ur Mrs. Right... Anyways I know you'll achieve your dreams of becoming a fashion designer... I'll always spport you as a friend.

Dear syahira,

I wish you all the best in the states. And pls do remember me as a friend forever. Although we have met jst like a year or two. But I feel dat we hav actually bonded quite well. Friends, FOREVER!!! Rock On !!!

Dear Kamil,

You have been quite a funny rascal.. Your nuiscance may be qite annoying all this time but I still love u as a friend. Ur childish in a way dat ur adorable... Haha!!! Anyways wish to see u having 10 children in the next ten years!

Dear Miel,

Mel Gomez... My teletubby!! HAHA! wad should i even say about you... Let's just say. I don't miss u... You may go back to Indonesia!!! LOLZ!!! Dats juz a joke! You know how much I love you as a friend... BFF's forever.

Dear Jasyu,

Yo're the best neighbour i'd ever had in my entire life... I love you. You're a great friend and Don't ever cry no more. And pls tell me when you have finaly become a lawyer... Cuz who knows maybe one day i might even need you.. Who knows dat i killed someone and you better win the case...XOXO!

'

All of you will still be in my hearts...

Future has been decided

Finally I hav decided wad I should be doing after my final yearin IIS!! Im gonna go to the college dat I finally have decided which is NO COLLEGE BUT DANCING ONLY! XD ...ALAS i have finally made up my mind with my career path....

I now know there is nothing that interests me more than dancing... The other night i finally opened up to my mom and told her bout my plans... It was really surprising dat she wasnt at all surprised by wad i told her. Instead she was chill and she said she expected bout it.

She didnt completely agree nor disagree to it. But she wanted me to complete A-levels or Form 6 but dat isnt wad i wanted.. I rather spend the money in the dancing school in China which i had wanted to enrol in! OMG!! I rather use dat money there instead of wasting the money in college, when finally im done in college with the certificate. Dont tell me dat im supposed to return it to my mom and say im not gonna use dis cuz im not gonna pursue anything to do with my studies!!! God show me away! I hope dat she would allow it. Im not the study type obviously. I dun wanna waste my time

Entry for the first time in a long time!!! Have been real busy dis whole holidady...

So it's been quite a long time since I updated my blog... Phew! Kinda busy dis whole month with all the performances dat we received... So basically I've been really busy with my hands and feet recently.. Busy as in busy with doing makeup and stuff and also dancing.... Well durh!!!! So... As we aqll know dis month is kinda the month which is such 'quoted' a really good month to hold weddings and stuff. So kinda making money with makeup.... Well RM 20 per face... Hey its not expensive ppl!!!!! So Had been performing at Meru, YMCA and soon at Jusco dis weekend...

Wads best was the competition at Bayview resort, Penang!!!!! WOOHHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Love it had hell of a wonderful time there... Not to compete of course but.... Got to make a few new frens from china and well wad could I say, They are wonderful frenly ppl... Wished that mom would allow me

to further my dancing in China after SPM... As for now, I'll keep my fingers crossed... XD...

Christmas is gonna be around the corner and hopefully theres gonna be a party... Yipee! and wads best i cant wait till next year's MArch!!!!!! Competition!! YAY!!!!!!!!! And its gonna be 2 competitions in MArch, 2 competitions in April. 1 Competion in june. 1 in august, and its gonna be really hectic next year since its SPM>>>>>> GOD!!!!!! So well dats all I gotta say...